My Number One Dating Tip For Men

Now that I'm married, I no longer have any use for this dating tip, but it's such a good one it seems a shame not to share it.

The Scene

So, you've met a girl and you've got to know something about her. Perhaps you met her in a bar, or maybe you've only talked via e-mail or over the phone. It doesn't really matter - the key is you've made contact.

Anyway, you've asked her to come on a date with you and she's accepted. Most likely, this will involve you going out for a meal (the #1 choice of most people today) - I'll leave it up to you as to whether you pay or you go Dutch. That's not important.

The Dating Tip

So, what's the big tip? Bring her a gift. That's it. Simple, and oh so effective. This one act will set you apart from about 95% of other guys.

And why does it set you apart? Because it shows her three important things:


  • You've been listening to her when she's been talking to you.

  • You've been thinking about her.

  • You have some creativity and imagination - i.e. you're interesting.

Naturally, it's pretty important that you buy the right type of gift, otherwise all your efforts will be for nothing.

What Not To Buy

Don't buy anything to cutsey, romantic or sexy. It's too early for that. You'll only come off as being weird. Don't buy anything too expensive, otherwise she will think you're trying to buy her affection.

What To Buy

Something funny is always a safe choice as it shows you have a sense of humor. Useful also works - perhaps she has a hobby that you can get her something for. A good bet is a book of some sorts - you can pretty much find something for anyone at Barnes and Noble or Borders.

A book is also easy to carry (and to conceal in your jacket so that you can surprise her once you've sat down at the restaurant).

The key is for the gift to have meaning. It should relate in some way to something going on in her life or that you have learned about her.

For example, when I first met my wife-to-be, I learned that she was moving from Seattle to New York in three weeks. So, for our first date I bought her the Zagat Guide for New York ... and she loved it. She still talks about that gift to this day, five years later.

In Addition

Don't forget to wrap the gift (ideally get the store to gift wrap it), or to put it some sort of attractive bag. Do not use the plastic one that the store provided.

If you really want to score a home run, you should include a message of some sorts. This is especially appropriate if you're buying her a book. This personalizes the gift even more, and if your relationship works out will make the gift even more of a treasured item for her.

Whatever you do, don't just start writing your message on the gift itself. Start on some paper, because whatever you write first you'll want to change. Again, don't be cutsey, suggestive or overly romantic - witty and thoughtful are best.

Posted on: April 10, 2005 | 1 Comment

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1 Comment Posted (Add Yours)

I've managed to save up roughly $60738 in my bank account, but I'm not sure if I should buy a house or not. Do you think the market is stable or do you think that home prices will decrease by a lot?

I don't think that what to buy thing is of that vast importance. The main thing to me is the personality. It's not that much of a difference if you bring flowers or not if you are ugly and smelly.

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